Monday, December 06, 2004

Hopkin Green, I barely knew ye

I know I've written about this before, but are you keeping up with the saga of P.S. I'll Find My Frog? It gets better by the day. My very most personal favorite reminds me of the longlost days of playing Zork. Ah, yes.

So this morning, I shot Awesomely Bad Career Moves and spent half the day discussing dubious professional trajectories. It was one of the most fun interviews I've ever shot, possibly because I used the word 'mofe,' discussed DJ'ing (wiki-wiki) as a release of sexual tension, deconstructed advertising for erectile dysfunction pills, and faked an orgasm, J.Lo-stylez. (I'm ... i'm ... i'm SO GLAD!) (first time I've ever faked the Big O, but I fully intend to rock 'em like J.Lo from here on in. I'm still Becky from the block, after all).

Bex Schwartz, ladies and gentlemen, keeping the FCC on their toeses. Moses supposes his toeses are roses but Moses supposes erroneously.

We're waiting to see how the Nielsen gods feel about last night's premiere of Big in 04. For the record, people, I had everything to do with the promos and NOTHING to do with the actual content. So I don't want to hear about it; believe me, I know. You try cutting a thirty-second spot out of that and then you're allowed to complain.

So, anyhoo. Tonight, our beloved Matt (audio engineer extraordinaire and constant presence in as many promos as possible) is taking us for a celebratory postmortem dinner. We're going to a fancy schmancy place called "Aureole." But they don't serve nipples. Damn. But first, I'll be kickin' it at the gym -- there is nothing more shockin' awesome than working out wearing full tv makeup. People look at you like you're a ho. I mean, I'm used to being viewed as a ho, but post-shoot workouts are special because I have so much makeup on and I'm still wearing my grimy gym clothes. Which are not ho-riffic. In fact, I have Ghostbusters bow-biters on my sneaks to keep 'em tied, and I'm pretty sure that most street walkers don't use bow-biters. But they ought to do so; bow-biters rock, especially if you're like me and you still tie your sneakers using the Romper Room method. It's true, I never learned how to tie my shoes for real. The whole rabbit running around the tree is beyond me; I just make two loops and then tie them in a knot.

Onwards, to the gym! Yesterday was a hoot and a holler -- not only did they play my fave Cher video, but I also logged more milage on the elliptical than I thought I could handle. Apparently, taking Sudafed Sinus right before the gym is not the best idea in the world -- lots of energy but also the impending fear of a possible heart attack. It was like working out on the edge. An added frisson of danger.

I just saw a commercial for Vicks vaporub which reminded me of when I was 17 and I had this horrible flu "with asthmatic components" and my mom bought me Vicks's Cherry Chest Rub, which all of her co-workers thought was hi-larious. It's true, looking back, the combination of Cherry + Chest Rub + 17-year-old-grrrl is pretty rich. But this commercial made it look like so much stimulating fun to rub Vick's on oneself. I'd like some right now. And then I could walk around with my tub of Vick's, asking people to rub my chest. Oooh la la. Why didn't I think of this before (interrobang).

Tomorrow is Tuesday, just in case you forgot. And you know what that means, don't you?
Tuesday is Prince Spaghetti Day.

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