Monday, August 27, 2012

Bex and Peter and also The Wolf

Just what you always wanted to watch! This is me narrating Peter and the Wolf with the Atlantic Pops. Enjoy!

Friday, August 10, 2012


The first Do Something Awards host promo started airing on the teevee last night! Written/directed by me.
The guys from "The New Girl" (Jake Johnson, Lamorne Morris and Max Greenfield) are getting ready to host the Do Something! Awards by making a difference - but it's not a competition, right? [NO GOLDFISH were harmed in the making of this promo!]

Watch the guys host the show Tuesday, August 21, 2012 at 9/8c on VH1 with performances by Flo Rida and .fun!

Vote now for your favorite celebrities:
Follow @VH1 and @dosomething on Twitter and use hashtag #DSAwards
Learn more about

I'm lapping it up!

I made you this gif! For when you need Apolo Ohno to describe his oral sex technique. In handy-dandy gif form.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012


Hello! Here I am, repping for Celine Dion in VH1’s Greatest Artists of the 90s brackets! A vote for Celine Dion is sort of a vote for me, but mostly for Celine Dion! VOTE! DO IT.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

5 Questions With Meeee

I answered 5 questions for GLOC* if you are really bored!

*Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy

Thursday, May 17, 2012

One of my most favorite Pop Up Chapel couples, John and Jay, make it big in Businessweek. So thrilled for them!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

you guys, I did it! SO PROUD.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Single Ladies season 2!

Look what I made. (It premieres tonight on-air but right now it’s exclusively on the
Single Ladies season 2! Premieres Monday, May 28 at 9/8c! only on VH1!
Track = “So Good” by B.o.B.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Call Me, Maybe


via Lindsey Weber:
A bunch of us are being serious plagued by the earworm parasite that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe.’ As soon as XTINE found out that Jepsen fans go by “JEPFRIENDS,” a nightmare was born and we started calling ourselves and everyone we knew Jepfriends*. We had to help our Jepfriends, and according to Bieber, the only cure for ‘Call Me Maybe’ is a finely edited group singalong.
*FEATURED JEPFRIENDS: interweberdrinkyourjuice, speriod, bobbyfinger, iamsosorry, folkinz, hoodratbusiness, kindafabulous, ramou, Bex, mattstopera, fjelstud & buster & lyla.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Bear-Schwartz household makes a doctor's appointment

Me: Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for Panda Boo Bear's yearly check up. 
Vet's Office: Panda Boo Bear ... let's see ... is your last name Bear?
Me: No, my cat's last name is Bear. My last name is Schwartz. 
Vet's Office: Oh, there he is! Panda Boo Bear Schwartz. 
Me: No, when I adopted him I didn't make him take my last name.
Vet's Office: Well, that's how we list them. So, just so you know, he's in our records as Panda Boo Bear Schwartz. 
Me: I feel like we should hyphenate that? 
Vet's Office: I'm sorry? 
Me: Can we hyphenate that? Like he's Panda Boo Bear-Schwartz? 
Vet's Office: ... if you'd prefer. 
Me: Yes, thank you.

Friday, March 09, 2012


Ladies of comedy! All day Saturday! What a wonderful way to spend your weekend! Come out and play-ay-ay! and The People’s Improv Theatre invite you to join them for a day of performances, live music, drink specials and mingling with the gorgeous ladies of the New York comedy community.
Saturday, March 10th, 12-5:00pm
123 E. 24th, NYC

The PIT’s lobby will host a bevy of merchandise and craft tables with goods for sale. Coffee and pastries will be sold at the bar along with delicious boozy drink specials!
While you mix and mingle enjoy live acoustic sets from:
Shonali Bhowmik!
Jessica Delfino!
Camille Harris!
Reformed Whores! (Katy Frame & Marie Cecile Anderson)
An OPEN MIC hosted by Darcy Burke
Come put your name in the hat and get 5-minutes of stage time!
An IMPROV SHOW hosted by Kate Hess FEATURING:
Taco Supreme! (Alexis Saarela, Brigid Boyle, Elizabeth Findlay & Ashley Ward)
NULIG! (Amey Goerlich, Kate Chamuris, Molly Lloyd, Leslie Meisel & surprise guests!)
Caitlin & Nicole! (Caitlin Bitigaio & Nicole Drespel)
OMG! (Ariel Karlin & Lorraine Cink)
Grandma’s Ashes! (Abra Tabak, Lydia HenslerMorgan Jarrett)
Sign up & jam!
An EPIC SHOW from 12-5pm with stand-up, characters, sketch, music & more!
12-1pm (hosted by Erin Lennox)
Livia Scott
Mary Grill
Leslie Goshko
Sabrina Jalees
Jacqueline Novak
Ashley Brooke Roberts
Brandy Barber
Emily Heller
Keisha Zollar
Laura Prangly
1-2pm (hosted by Kara Klenk)
Kara Klenk
Jodi Lennon
Katie Hartman
Beth McGregor
Becky Yamamoto
Sharon Spell
Marianne Schaberg
Katie Hannigan
Leah Bonnema
Raquel D’Apice
2-3pm (hosted by Leah Bonnema)
Katina Corrao
Amanda Duarte
Shonali Bhowmik
Darcy Burke
Caitlin Bitzegaio
Phoebe Robinson
Andrea Alton
Peggy O’Leary
Katey Healy-Wurzburg
Margaret Champagne
3-4pm (hosted by Mara Herron)
Mara Herron
Kate Hendricks
Kate Hess
Giulia Rozzi
Amy Albert
Kambri Crews
Kathy Salerno
Chrissie Mayr
Cocoon Central Dance Team
Abbi Crutchfield
4-5pm (hosted by Glennis McCarthy)
Jen Curran
Jess Wood
Kate Berlant
Annie Lederman
Erin Lennox
Calise Hawkins
Carmen Lynch
Bex Schwartz
Sara Schaefer

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean

September, 1987.

My parents picked me up from Sarah’s sleepover birthday party and I was wearing my favorite outfit (yes, I believe that is a lilac button-up jumpsuit, and it was a hand-me-down from my dad’s boss’s daughter) and my awesome watch, and we drove to Six Flags for the first time to go see Weird Al and the Monkees. First concert ever! Also: BEST CONCERT EVER.

And then later that day, after the concert of excruciating perfection, my little brother and I met Alf.

* Um. A cardboard cut-out of Alf. But, still. Weird Al +The Monkees + ALF = the greatest day ever and nothing shall ever top it.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Lady Gaga won! I won! We all won!

I won! Or rather, Lady Gaga won the Greatest Woman in Pop!
This is me with a 102 degree fever and very severe sinus infection and you can pretty much tell. But hooray for ladies with funny voices and funny noises! REPPIN' HARD!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Her Royal Ladyship Ms. Gaga has advanced to round 2 against Brit Brit!
In this video, I'm still repping for Gaga AND I still have a sinus infection! Vote with your heartburn!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Vote for Lady Gaga! WOO WOO WOO!

Vote now* in VH1's "8 Greatest Women in Pop" bracket thingy!
If you've wondered what it would sound and look like if I had a high fever and a serious sinus infection while repping for Lady Gaga, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

* By which I mean: vote for Lady Gaga. Because i lurfs her. And also because if you vote for her, then you'll get to see more of my delirious ranting.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Set those DVRs

every night this week at 10pm on vh1, there's a new episode of 100 greatest women in music. i'm in it! fingers crossed that i do not completely humiliate myself!

This Week in Zombies

I am continuing to recap The Walking Dead over at Rolling Stone. My main philosophy about the show is: more zombies, please.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Pop Up Chapel hits the bigtime!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I keep seeing commercials for some Reebok Crossfit thing, and all I can actually see is a hamentashen.

Monday, January 09, 2012

More Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel awesomeness

This one makes me laugh every time.

And this one shows what really happens backstage.

Friday, January 06, 2012

Dusty Panda

How does Panda manage to cover his little Boo head with littlebox dust? Is he doing acrobatics in there?