Upcoming Bexness

Woohoo! A brief blert of self-promotion:

Watch me on Awesomely Bad Songs of 2004 this Saturday, December 4th at 9:30pm on VH1!
Watch me on Britney Spears' Most Shocking Moments on Sunday December 19th (time TBD) on VH1!

And check it on out, we made the Village Voice's Holiday Preview. Check out their feature "Naughty and Nice -- Freaky Fun that Will Have you Feeling Festive.". They say:

Nothing is sacred at Heeb Storytelling, Heeb magazine's popular series where cabaret meets Catskills in seven-minute true-ish tales told by some damn funny Jews. The anti-silent-night show features original stories by Daily Show writer Eric Drysdale, VH1 DJ Bex Schwartz, humorist Peter Hyman, Michael "Soybomb" Portnoy, comedian Dana Kletter, literary rock stars One Ring Zero and more. What, you'd rather be stringing popcorn?
December 22 at 7, Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette Street, 212.539.8778, joespub.com.


(Although I'm not a DJ, but I sometimes dream about playing one on tv. A VJ, I believe they would call that. Except we don't really show videos, so we don't have any VJs.)

(It would just be sooooo nice to be called a VJ because if one calls someone a VJ, it kinda sounds like one is calling that person a vagina.)

(You know how DJs are always trying to come up with the hottest DJ names? Like DJ Salinger or DJ Sweatpants or DJ Tanner or DJ Flash or DJ Syzygy? I would really like to be the first person to rock a VJ name. VJ Vagina.)

("Yo, yo, this is VJ Vagina kickin' it live from the VH1 Big in 04 Awards! Stick around for that Maroon 5 video, the one where the lead singer has sex with his skinny girlfriend and the other band members don't get to have sex but instead must cavort amidst fake trees. Yeah, boyee! I'm VJ Vagina and I'm keepin' it real.")