I didn't get fanmail. Someone (someone without the balls or ovaries to reveal his or her name) signed my guestbook:
bex sucks [11/26/04, 10:53 PM] writes:For the record, I never claimed I was anything but ugly. I'd just like to think that I have at least mildly interesting hair, which I feel certain must elevate me to at least a skooch above ugly.
you are not funny AND you are ugly. i hate you. stop trying to be funny.
Wow, someone hates me! Well, hater, I'd just like to say: I love you, because I love everyone and I'm sorry your heart is two sizes too small. Hugs and kisses, hata!
Yikes! Something SCARY just happened. I opened my window to let my room cool down and all of a sudden, Klaus-the-kitty was outside on the fire escape! I grabbed his tail and hauled him back inside. Somehow, my screen window was open all the way! And I know it was locked before I left, because I never open the screen, because I'm scared that the kitties will jump outside and then all will be lost. So SOMEONE opened my screen! It was either
A) my landlords, who needed to get onto the roof for some reason, but why would they open our apartment when we are not home if they could just climb up the fire escape from their window!
B) a burglar who came into the house but did not take or touch a single thing!
C) An intruder who came it to make a mental blueprint so he can break back in and do mean and nefarious things to me -- I saw this exact story on CSI, I swear!
D) Magical gnomes who came to fix our shoes!
E) The Dreamblower guy from that Roald Dahl book!
F) A crazy intruder who came into the house to make a mental blueprint so he can break back in and do mean and nefarious things -- I saw this exact story on SVU, I swear!
Yikes.
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2 comments:
"my landlords, who needed to get onto the roof for some reason, but why would they open our apartment when we are not home if they could just climb up the fire escape from their window!"
landlords usually put a clause in our contract saying they can enter your place (for repairs and whatnot), and they do go through your house when you're not there. not snooping, mind you (hopefully)...
a friend of mine's landlord would cut through her apartment to get to the basement. he did it one time right as she was getting out of the shower (yes, she had a towel). he never did that again, especially after she threatened (loudly and violently) to blow his head off with a shotgun and that she would be fully justified in doing so.
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