Monday, November 22, 2004

'Mo Self Promo, Please

more ovaltine, please!
more emeraldine sneeze!
This is the cereal that's shot from guns! BOOM.
And this is where I let you know for which shows you ought to be looking on your Teeeevo. I don't know when they're airing because I don't even know what day it is, but please know that someday, soon, coming to a t-vision near you, watch me (please,) in:
All Access: Britney Spears' 20 Most Shocking Moments
All Access: 20 Wacky Celeb Families
Awesomely Bad Songs of 2004
Awesomely Bad #1 Songs Ever
40 Most Shocking Hair Moments of 2004

I'm a wee bit punchy. I couldn't sleep at all last night, and every time I drifted off, I would wake up an hour later with my jaw all clenched and painful. When I was in high school and my jaw would get bad, I used to suck on jawbreakers. And then in college when it would get really bad, I'd smoke a cigarette. And now I'm chewing on pens. Oral fixation? No doubt. Incredibly painful TMJ? You bet. And yet, it feels so much better when there's something in my mouth. Which means I often find myself in the situation of asking if anyone has anything I can suck on.

Hey, sexy? Got anything I can suck on?

I'm like a walking set-up, just insert punchline: HERE.

bump, set, spike, yo.

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