Pop Up Chapel hits the bigtime!

I keep seeing commercials for some Reebok Crossfit thing, and all I can actually see is a hamentashen.

More Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel awesomeness

Get More: 17th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards

This one makes me laugh every time.

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And this one shows what really happens backstage.

Dusty Panda

How does Panda manage to cover his little Boo head with littlebox dust? Is he doing acrobatics in there?

Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel are hosting the Critics Choice Movie Awards (and I directed the promos)

I snuck/sneaked a panda into this one:

Get More: 17th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards

No dogs allowed!

Music Videos - Free Music Videos

So many promises!

Music Videos - Free Music Videos

Introducing your hosts:

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Puppets?

Get More: 17th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards

The Christmas song we wrote in our house

Sing to the tune of "Up on the Rooftop"

Food and snacks and snacks and treats!
Give me something more to eat!
I ate my cat food - yum yum yum!
But I want more in my tum (my)
My name is Panda - meow meow meow!
Give me more food; do it now!

Call Your Grandma

(the single jewish girl's version of Robyn's "Call Your Girlfriend")

Call your grandma
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you are not dating a Jew!

Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done
And then when she gets upset tell her how you never meant to hurt no one
Then you tell her that the only thing you’d recommend

Is when she’ll learn to comprehend

That you won’t sign up for J-date, but she can pretend
And then you let her down easy

Call your grandma
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you are not dating a Jew!

Dad Schwartz in the comics

I was having drinks with Corey and his lovely wife a few weeks ago and I learned that Kristen used to design and name socks after baseball players and I asked if she could request that someone name a sock after my father. Because my father’s one great wish in life, his one true desire, the thing he wants more than anything else in the world, is to somehow have a middle school named after him: The Robert Franklin Schwartz middle school. This goal comes up every few months or so when he muses about how he really just wants a middle school named after him. And he’s not about to donate millions of dollars (we do not have millions of dollars) to some school to get naming rights, and odds are slim that a town would name its middle school after the guy who designed their sewage treatment plant, so I thought maybe a sock would be the next best thing.

But Corey did one even better! He made my dad a character in his comic strip, The Elderberries! Look, there’s Dad Schwartz, revealing his lifelong dream. And just you wait because there are TWELVE DAYS OF DAD SCHWARTZ in the comics. If you see Corey this week, please give him a giant hug.

How Big Is Panda Boo?

Panda Boo is SO BIG! 3 foot 2, according to the measuring tape.

Uncastable

I am so honored and absolutely pleased as punch to be part of the Uncastable gang!


A giant hug and sloppy kisses to Mikala Bierma, Michael Lacher, Tyler Coates, Halle Kiefer, Bobby Finger et al!

I’m not going to review The Muppets because I agree wholeheartedly with what Sepinwall said and he said it better than I could. (Also, I loved it, and don’t argue with me about this because I am crazy diehard Muppethead, to the extent that not one, not two, but at least eleven people have commented that my office looks like Miss Piggy’s dressing room and that is a CONSCIOUS DESIGN CHOICE BY ME).

But I will say that my whole being was filled with glee when there was a shot of Walter in a dressing room and a photo of one of the African Masks (they were characters, so I’ll capitalize the name) from “Turn the World Around” was wedged into the mirror.

Favorite muppet thing of all time ever in the world, even though when I was a little kid it scared the bejeezus out of me and I had nightmares about it for a long time.

Do you know who I am?
Do I know who you are?
See we one another clearly
Do we know who we are?

Tripping at the Muppets

So I went to see The Muppets tonight! A me party, all by myself. I loved it to pieces. LOVED IT. But this is not a review of The Muppets, which you should all see and love. This is the story of the Tripping Lady!

During the preshow, I was looking at my phone and trying to ignore the toddlers squawking behind me. During the trailers, all the kids seemed to be settling down. Right before the movie started, there was a brief spot featuring The Muppets telling us all to be quiet and to turn off our cel phones. When Statler and Waldorf appeared, someone sitting up front yelled "FUCK YEAH!" and threw their arms into the air. It was cute. I mean, we all were excited, right? Sure! I have been known to yell things in movies before.

And then the movie started and there was a song and this person stood up started dancing in her seat. She was sort of looking around at the rest of us like "Why aren't you joining me? We should be dancing! This is a movie with the Muppets!" But she didn't sit down. And then movie theater person went over to talk to her. I was trying to pay attention to the movie so I stopped watching that scene play out.

Until she was escorted out of the theater, and as she was perp-walked across the center aisle, she started dancing again! And both of her arms were covered in rolls of industrial toilet paper! Like the ones in the movie theater bathrooms:

And she broke free from the security guy and started and singing and dancing across the aisle, waving her toilet paper around.

I am pretty sure she was on mushrooms or something like that? Then she was gone and we all enjoyed the movie. I live pretty close to the theater so I just walked home without stopping to use the restroom but I assume there is no more toilet paper anywhere at that particular AMC.

Can't stop, won't stop.

Catfancy

1) I made my little brother steal this copy of Cat Fancy from the vet’s office.
2) We pronounced it “catfancy” like “infancy.”
3) I hung this cover in my frosh dorm.
4) I have been searching for it ever since.
5) I feel like I have just completed a quest in a videogame.
6) This is the greatest photo of a cat in the history of photos of cats.

One of these things is not like the other! One of these things just doesn't belong! Can you guess which thing is not like the other by the time I finish this song?

Hints: one of these things is neither a VIP nor from Northern England.

The thing does, however, support Your Big Year.

When I was 8, I was Weird Al Yankovic for Halloween. Seen here with my little brother, @Adamsthinking, wearing a Go-Bot costume. Just wanted to share.