Monday, August 29, 2005

Fuck my Cock! The Mr. Softee Song Has REAL Lyrics

Today's my public service contribution to New York.
I'm sure that all of you, as do I, hear the Mr. Softee jingle so often that its tinkly melody is inscribed, indelibly, in that part of your brain that still recalls the childhood terror you experienced upon viewing an episode of Webster wherein Webster accidentally set fire to his house with his chemistry set.

And, if you're like me and my roomie, you once upon a time, many years ago, when the Mr. Softee truck would park outside of your Greenpoint apartment for six hours at a time, blasting its infectious tune into your subconscious, wrote lyrics to the jingle.

And your version of the tune, which you cannot help singing whenever you hear the Mr. Softee song, goes like this:
(Our lyrics:)
Oh, who is your neighborhood ice cream man?
His name is Mr. Softee!
Who is your neighborhood ice cream man?
His name is Mr. Softee!
He makes the stuff
And sells the stuff
And then you will want to eat the stuff
So grab your change
And tell your friends:
"He's coming down the street!"
Oh!
Who is your neighborhood ice cream man?
His name is Mr. Softee!
Where could Mr. Softee be?
There ... he ... is!


But now, I learn there are actual lyrics to the Mr. Softee song! And they TOTALLY SUCK compared to our version.
The real lyrics:
The creamiest, dreamiest soft ice cream
You get from Mr. Softee
For a refreshing delightful supreme
Look for Mr. Softee
My milk shakes and my sundaes
And my cones a such a treat
Listen for my store on wheels
Ding-a-ling down the steet
The creamiest, dreamiest soft ice cream
You get from Mr. Softee
For a refreshing delight supreme
Look for Mr. Softee
S-O-F-T Double E Mister Softee!


Dang, yo. "S-O-F-T Double E" is a really nice touch.

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