Tuesday, November 23, 2004

We have killed Mountain Time

Oh, lo, ask not for whom the bell tolls, because the bell tolls for Mountain Time.

I have a mild obsession with Mountain Time, because when I was a child, promo spots always included Mountain Time -- "Don't miss the next episode of Diff'rent Strokes, at 3pm, 2pm central, 1pm Mountain Time."

As a kid, i thought Mountain Time sounded so incredibly awesome. Like, because people who live atop Mountains are so high in the sky that their time flows at a different rate than those of us who were living in suburban, flat New Jersey. I knew enough about Relativity and the twin paradox (and because my dad and I watched "Flight of The Navigator," which also dealt with the relative-passing-of-time issue (remember that movie? the stuff that dreams are made of? yo diggety, no doubt) to know that for people who are very far away, time flows at a different rate, relative to an observer on Earth.

Anyhoo. So I thought that people who lived on top of Mountains had their own time zone and I dreamed of someday perhaps living among them and watching cartoons two hours earlier. There's a story in Alan Lightman's "Einstein's Dreams" about a world in which time passes slower at higher altitudes so everyone seeks the highest heights to prevent time from flying by too quickly -- the higher one lives, the slower life progresses, so life can be treasured and savored and cherished to the fullest.

Ah, "cherish." Like in "Stranger in a Strange Land." I cherish you, reader.

(and when I wrote 'passing of time" it reminded me of my fave song, "This Must be the Place" -- and you're standing here beside me. i love the passing of time.)

Annnnnnnyhoodles... And then, one day, Mountain Time disappeared. Promos ended with "3/2 central." In fact, in my line of work, I deal with this on a daily basis, tagging spots for vh1 shows with "tonight at 9/8 central." But I never, ever throw to Mountain time -- EXCEPT when I'm doing :60 radio spots that will air in that elusive time zone.

And today, I was all set to tag these spots for Big in 04 (which airs Sunday December 5th at 9/8C) as Sunday at 7 (just for those radio-listeners in Mountain Time) and then I got the phone call:

"Kill Mountain Time."

(We didn't buy any ad time in Mountain Time, thus there was no reason to tag spots for those upper-altitude slow pokes).

But, I kind of felt a little gasp of despair, a slow exhalation of sadness, because I have been to London and I've been to France but I've never been to Mountain Time (nor have I ever been to me) and now I have killed Mountain Time. I have slain it, dead.

Alas, Mountain Time. I barely knew ye.

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