When I was 8, I was Weird Al Yankovic for Halloween. Seen here with my little brother, @Adamsthinking, wearing a Go-Bot costume. Just wanted to share.

"The Literary Whores of Thailand"

So, you guys know that Bangkok is seriously under water and the floods are really horrific across Thailand and it is bad news bears over there.

A good friend of mine has fled BKK for Pattaya, which is sort of known for being sex touristy, but also beachy! (I did not go there, because I was a lady traveling alone and being in a place know for sex tourism felt ick-icky to me) (also why I avoided Phuket). Anyway! He and his fiancee fled to Pattaya to avoid the monsoon floods affecting Bangkok, and he sent me this photo of a prostitute who beckoned him to her bar.

As Josh put it: Are there literary whores of Thailand?

My pal in Pattaya explained: “I got so excited when I saw that dress, and she had no problem with my taking a picture, and no clue at all who Jonathan Safran Foer is.  Someone, I’m guessing, just dug the font.”

Literary Whores of Thailand is my new band name.

In my head, there is a prostitute wearing a Jonathan Franzen “The Corrections” dress right across the street.

In some way or another, we are all just cats with our paws on the radiator, making clicking noises at the birds outside whom we will never be able to catch and devour.

Gregory House

Last night as I was coming back from JFK, my car took me past GREGORY HOUSE.

With all his legal drama and stuff, I can’t believe he has his own house!

* It is entirely possible that Lindsay is the only person who will get this.

ZOMBIES!

I am recapping The Walking Dead because I love zombies so very much.

Bear Skin Condoms

I have a TV tuned to vh1 in my office but I normally don't turn up the volume. But I had it on quietly in the background while I was writing a script. And there was a commercial for a new type of Trojan condoms. And I kept hearing the words "bear skin condoms."

Here, let me transcribe this spot for you:

v/o: (singing) Trojan Man!

v/o: Here in our labs, we're developing the latest in pleasure innovation! Bringing couples closer ... than ever before.

v/o: Trojan bear skin condoms! They're an amazing 40% thinner than our standard condoms!

v/o: For an irresistibly close experience!

annc: Trojan Bear Skin condoms. America's number one most trusted condom brand. Can't wait to get it on.

couple: Thanks, Trojan Man!

v/o: My pleasure.

And I was like: that is weird? To make condoms out of bear skin? I mean, I guess, I know there are sheepskin condoms for people who are allergic to latex? And the idea of that always felt sort of gross to me. I don't even wear leather. So I wouldn't want sheep skin inside of my vagina. It would be un-vegetarian and also sort of gross. So I kept on working.

And then the commercial came on again but I didn't look up and just sort of half-listened to it. So then I was like -- is bear skin super spermicidal? Does it prevent disease? And then I was like -- what if I ever have sex again and the dude is like "Hey, baby, I've got this new bear skin condom. It is 40% thinner than a typical condom! It will bring us closer together!"

And then I was thinking about what I would say and if I'd have to play the vegetarian card ("Even my wallet is vegan!") and how that argument would go ("But you're not eating bear skin, it will just be inside of your vagina") and I sort of spent way too long trying to come up with an argument against using a bear skin condom because if it really does feel that much better with bear skin, than maybe it would maybe be okay?

So then I decided to look up the bear skin condoms to see if there were reviews of them and if people were like "YES. Use the bear skin condoms. They are amazing! GROWL!" or if people were making bear skin puns like "Perfect for letting a man into your honeypot" or whatever.

And so. Oh.

Nevermind.

Picnic

Mr. Princess Prettypants Kittyface

My darling Panda Boo.

Happy Jew Year from the Muppets

Happy Jew Year from my favorite muppet and his Snowths.





(via Hellsattik)

IRL - funny people from the internet being funny onstage

SHOWY SHOW. Monday, September 19th (aka "The Day Before My Birthday").
Come to Brooklyn for the laughs!

Joey Cramer - update

Oh man, they arrested him. I hope everything becomes better for you soon, Joey Cramer!

Wait. So EVERYONE is Looking for Joey Cramer?

Longtime readers know that this blog was once very dedicated to finding Joey Cramer, the child actor who was the star of Flight of the Navigator.

We sent out a message to the universe to try to find him.

And then we found him, working in a sporting goods store in Canada.

Tonight, an anonymous tipster commented "Everyone is looking for Joey" and offered this link:

That link leads you to this article and this photo:

August 24, 2011

Sunshine Coast RCMP are requesting assistance from the public in the capture of Deleriyes Cramer wanted for seven warrants out of the Lower Mainland. According to Cpl. Steve Chubey, Cramer is alleged to have committed several cheque and fraud related crimes in the Lower Mainland and Fraser Valley, and RCMP believe he has ties to the Sunshine Coast. Chubey said Cramer is suspected of altering the name and/or the amount of cheques before cashing them at local financial institutions. He also has been known to use several aliases including Joe August Cramer, Joe August Deleriyes, Joe August Leighland, and Joe August Deleriyes Cramer. He is 38-years-old, 6’3” (183 cm), 179 pounds (81 kg) with brown hair and brown eyes. Anyone with information to his whereabouts are asked to contact RCMP at 604-885-2266 or Crimestoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477). — Submitted

Accompanying photo:

This is not our Joey Cramer, is it?

This was the compare and contrast we did when we located our erstwhile Navigator in the sporting goods store:

These are not all the same people, are they?

This page goes into detail about various suspects the Royal Mounties are tracking. It says "


"CRAMER, Deleriyes Joe August Born: Aug. 23, 1973 Wanted in connection with File #2011-9051 Wanted for fraud."

When was our friend Joey Cramer born? Let's ask wiki. OH fuck. Wiki is not the most reputable site, because it cites this blog as a source. But it says that Joey Cramer, of Flight of the Navigator, was born on August 23, 1973.

Let's cross reference it with IMDB.

Oh, fuck.


If these facts all correct, then our beloved Joey Cramer now goes by Deleriyes Cramer and he has done some bad things and he is in trouble!

Joey Cramer, or Joe August Cramer, Joe August Deleriyes, Joe August Leighland, and Joe August Deleriyes Cramer -- whatever you're going by right now --

I am sorry if you've fallen onto some hard times. We still love you. Let the starcharts in your head be your guide.

The Happiest Face on the Subway

High Street station, Brooklyn.

Bex Schwartz, Minister at Large

The ULC wrote a lovely thing about my participation (not just as an organizer) but as a minister during the Pop Up Chapel. Awwwww.

Oh, Tree

There was a tree behind my apartment. I liked to look at it and mark the changing seasons. It was nice to see some green outside of my bedroom window. And then I re-read “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” and I felt even more connected to that tree. My cat liked to watch the birds who lived in its branches and sometimes he would get excited and make hunting noises and click at the birds. This morning I awoke to a man inside that tree, lopping off branches with a chainsaw. We made eye contact as I hurried to pull down the the shade. And now that tree is gone. Why did you cut down my tree, whoever owns the land behind my apartment? I liked that tree a whole lot. It was a lovely maple tree and it was pleasant to lie on my fire escape and read a magazine and watch the sun streaking through its leaves. What did you have against that tree, land owner? Now the people who live behind me have a direct view into my bedroom window. And now there is no tree. The cat and I are both pretty sadtimes about this development. I miss you already, tree.

Dropping Some Science on Your Butt

Did you know? Benadryl (or the generic) and Nytol (or the generic) are the EXACT SAME THING?

They are both Diphenhydramine — typically 25 mg, in the case of Benadryl or Nytol.

Diphenhydramine is the thing in Tylenol PM that makes you sleepy. If you want to take just the sleepy-stuff without the acetominophen, then you take Simply Sleep or Nytol or Unisom or whatever.

When you have itchy eyes or hay fever or you’re sniffy because you stuck your face in a cat, then you take Benadryl. And it usually makes you feel sleepy. BECAUSE IT IS THE EXACT SAME THING AS THE SHIT YOU TAKE TO GO TO SLEEP.

So if you are sleepy, you could actually just take Benadryl. And if you are itchy, you could actually just take Simply Sleep. Because they are THE SAME.

And here is one more exciting bit of science — Diphenhydramine is ALSO Dramamine:

“The effects of dimenhydrinate are very similar to those of diphenhydramine. The main differences are a lower potency, and a longer latency. 50 mg dimenhydrinate contains 27.2 mg of diphenhydramine, so it is less potent at equal doses. Also, dimenhydrinate must dissociate into diphenhydramine and its counterion in the body before it is active, so it produces effects more slowly than diphenhydramine. The drug typically takes a minimum of 4 hours to fully take effect.”

See? Dramamine is is Dymenhydrinate which turns into dyphenhydramine so it makes you less sleepy but still has that sedative effect, which is why your mom gave you so much Dramamine on car trips and airplane rides so you’d just pass out instead of crying and humiliating her in front of all the other nice passengers flying to Florida to see their grandparents.

Maybe you already know this? I just learned this on Saturday night when a good friend of mine BLEW MY MIND by revealing that Benadryl is Simply Sleep. I wanted to share.

BLIMP LIFE

Tickling my new best friend, Blimp.

BLIMPIN'

When you are being a blimp pilot, it is important to study your maps so you can plot your way to your office building and say hi to all your work friends.

Pop Up Chapel video

Popup Chapel July 30th 2011 from Gustavo Campos on Vimeo.


amazing video by Gustavo Campos. THE BEST.

Pop Up Chapel Love from Logo!

Tags: Gay Video & Lesbian Movies, Logo: Fierce TV

Love you, Logo!