That's not how it's spelled on my diploma

I truly hope a Wesleyan grad copy-edited this ad. LIKE!

Friend Survey!

If my entire internet presence consisted of the words “Bex likes sriracha,” would we still be pals?

PANDA WANT JACKET.

 

Sometimes I just feel like a giant panda who REALLY REALLY REALLY wants a denim jacket and will stop at nothing to get it, not even turning into a violent panda like the one in Tekken.

in re: the california gurls video

“I refuse to accept that Snoop plays dice with the universe.” — Albert Einstein

Paging All Archeology Types?

Hello, internets! Paging people who know something about archeology, maybe? I found this thing, that I think is maybe a spearhead? Or something similar? I found it in September of 2001 when I was at my friend’s place on Vinalhaven, off the coast of Maine. It was in the shallow water right off the beach. At the time, I had just completed a heroic dose of mind-expanding natural plants during which I imagined that I was some sort of Native American healer, so you can only imagine my joy at finding what I thought was a token (what does Ayla call them, the things she puts in her amulet? A totem?) or a sign from the universe or something.

So. It is this thing. Next to a penny for scale-reference. What is this thing? I truly hope it is actually a thing and not just a random rock that my brain decided was a thing. It does look like it was hammered or chipped away at or something like that.  It's not sharp like a spear but maybe it is some other sort of tool? Dr. Jones? Anyone?

It's all in my Wildlife Treasury!

This is the part I remembered:

“Time to check out the wildlife I've got captured here in my room, in my illustrated Wildlife Treasury! Hey, Rhinocerous! Says here, you sleep standing up and you only eat at night! This monkey holds up his long nose when he eats. And the duck-billed platypus has feet like a duck, but it’s furry! They’re all in my Wildlife Treasury!”

This is the part that just broke my heart into a million pieces because I remember how anxious it made me feel that the mom was going to just DESTROY this kid's dreams:

Mom: Hey, Jungle Jimmy! More Wildlife Treasury cards just came!
Jungle Jimmy: GREAT!
Mom: You could cancel after the next shipment ...
Jungle Jimmy: But we won't ... will we, Mom?

He is so forlorn at the very notion that you could cancel after the next shipment! Don't do it, commercial mom! Let this kid cling to just one dream. Everything is totally going to suck for him eventually. So let him be 6 or 7 or even 8 and convinced he's really on a fucking safari.

Would You Like to be Someone's English Drinking Buddy?

My best friend is looking for an English drinking buddy. Would you like to be an English drinking buddy? He's advertising over on Craigslist.