I Blog for Ooomph

And, lo, I am awesome.

The Most Awesome, Awesome, Pointless Use of Celebrities in Front of a Green Screen To Ever Appear on a Highly Successful TV Program

MAN! When I was watching Idol last night, the faux VERY BAD lip-sync of Stayin' Alive made me stop being a misanthrope and start loving humanity again. Because this is just so so so very pointless and horribly done and stupid that I love people because people are just so awesomely obtuse sometimes.

Separated at Birth = Sanjaya and Naima

Now I know why Sanjaya's pony-hawk looked familiar! Because it's the exact same 'do the Naima wore in her cycle 4 finale of ANTM, when she won because it's the only time in the entire cycle that she actually looked attractive!

Mourning Uncle Kurt

It's 12:43 am, EDT. CNN is reporting that Kurt Vonnegut just passed away, at age 84. Of course, this was bound to happen. But I am sad, sad, sad. The universe loses a special wit today.

SO SAD!

Seriously, someone rad introduced me to Vonnegut when I was in high school (well, who amongst us didn't have their life saved by reading Vonnegut in high school) and it was the best revelation in the world: there were smart people out there and life wasn't always going to suck like high school. Vonnegut's books picked me up and dropped me, and I am truly sad to learn he's no longer with us. Uncle Kurt and Papa Heinlein - those men really changed my life. And I will never get to have dinner with either of them.

I am tired and I have to be at my new apt at the crack of dawn for the grand painting adventure, so I leave you with this:

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
-- Cat's Cradle

and this:

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ” -- God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

and, this, my most favorite Vonnegut line, which has become a sort of personal mantra for me whenever i get down, from Timequake:

You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.

My deepest, deepest condolences to his family and loved ones. You will be missed, sir, you will be missed.

But Hodge shan't be shot; no, no, Hodge shall not be shot.

There was this awesome thing on Gawker just a little while ago about the whole tainted pet food crisis and how Ron Rosenbaum had quoted that bit from Boswell's Life of Johnson (and also Nabokov's "Pale Fire" epigraoh) about one of Samuel Johnson's cats, named Hodge: (in response to Johnson discussing someone who was gallivanting around London and killing cats) “But Hodge shan’t be shot. No, no, Hodge shall not be shot.”

Seriously, I think Ron Rosenbaum was double-plus right-on. That's the best way to handle the catfood crisis of 07:

But Hodge shan't be shot. No, No, Hodge shall not be shot.

Just repeating it, like a talismanic mantra (he took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots) (alternatively: he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts) fills me with all sorts of inner peace.

But Hodge shan't be shot. No, no, Hodge shall not be shot.

It's totally the new "stop the widening."

Creepy Creepy Cheney Hiding in the Bushes

Thanks to "Eat the Press" for the link of geniusness. Well played, well played.

The Best Music Video of All Time

Ultra mega wow. This German music video is exactly why the internets were invented.


ULTRA MEGA WOW!

It's this group called Deichkind and according to their Myspace, they're Ghettotech/Freestyle/Hip-Hop. And they "sound like: ELECTRONIC WITH NO LIMIT!" And they're AMAZING.

Thanks to my friend Jason, who remains, as always, the smartest man I know.

UNICORNS!

Granted, I am taking a prescription cough-suppresant that is molecularly similar to heroin, but: ENYA + cheesy stills of UNICORNS = bliss.

Never Trust Robots

Admittedly, it is entirely possible that my high fevers have burnt away all of my brain cells. That may be, but I have to say that this song "We're in Business" by Andrew Thompson is quite possibly the greatest song EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Heard You're Sick and Feeling Ill: Headache, Fever, and a Chill

Ladies and germs, I am crazytalk illin'. I have a horrific flu that sucks so frakking hard. The only positive notes are
* hallucinatory fever dreams! (dare i call them "vision quests")
* not eating = losing weight
* sleeping 18 hours a day

I know, I know, there was a ladychick on House who was sleeping 18 hours a day and she had African Sleeping Sickness because she cheated on her husband with his buddy, who had gone to Africa and done got himself bitten by a tse-tse fly. But I've never been to Africa. No, wait, I have been to Africa. But that was about two years ago, and I think if I'd been bitten by a tse-tse fly in Morocco, I'd know already.

Being this supersick sucks, but I'm so glad I watch all those medical dramas. F'rinstance, today I ran out of tissues (seriously, I have to blow my nose every forty-five seconds. Even though I'm using the fancy aloe-lotion tissues, my nose is all WC Fields-y! Ack!) and it was an emergency, and I'm also coughing so much that my neighbors must think I have TB. So I needed to run to the pharmacy for more tissues, more cough medicine, and some chest-rub goo. But I had a crazy-high fever! What could I do?

Make like Dr. Cuddy and the kid with the super-high fever and jump into an ice-cold shower, duh.

It worked! My fever went down for like 10 minutes! House works! House is true!

Also, in the midst of a very scary fever-dream, I woke up absolutely needing to listen to "Oliver Cromwell" by Monty Python. In case this ever happens to you, it can be found right here . Lyrics can be found right here, if'n you'd like to sing along.

whatcha gonna do with all that junk?