Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Season 5 of Surreal Life -- REVEALED

Breaking news from the VH1 hotline ... they've just revealed the cast for the next season of The Surreal Life:
C-listers, start your engines:

*Baseball legend or 'roid droid? I just hope all the other housemates tell him secrets and then he goes and writes a book about it -- it's JOSE CANSECO!
*The worst thing to happen to white America's perception of black women since Sherry Palmer on 24 -- it's ex-Apprentice candidate OMAROSA!
*The bitchiest world's first supermodel ever, and the winner of biggest fishlips on television, it's JANICE DICKINSON!
*Will that stop us, Pep? I doubt it! It's SANDI DENTON (aka "PEPA")
*My little heart is doing the Dance of Joy -- it's BALKI BARTOKOMOUS (aka "BRONSON PINCHOT")
*Some pretty woman from England who doesn't eat -- it's CAPRICE!
*And finally, he was the one boffing Pink and dealing with her man hipbones -- it's "Motocross Madman" COREY HART!

Oh, yes. It's seven kinda-sorta-celebrities picked to live in a house in the Hollywood Hills. See what happens when they stop being nice and start being kinda-sorta-real.


Angela said...

What a lineup. My friends and I will be watching, if only for Bronson Pinchot, and taking bets as to how soon someone gets him to say "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!"

Anonymous said...

Holy fucking shit. VH1 is a juggernaut under whom all opposition will be crushed.