Hi Ho, Kermit the Frog here. Remember in 3rd grade there was that joke about what’s green and smells like bacon? Kermie’s fingers.
I didn’t get it for many, many years – kinda the same way that I didn’t know what a blow job was til I was in sixth grade and had to pretend to laugh about jokes about them. Now I get it, and it was firmly explained to me that it was a misnomer because you don’t blow, you suck. Right.
So here’s what you should be watching on the current VH1 roster: all access awesomely badder girls, all access celeb showdown.
Here’s what you should be looking out for: awesomely bad songs of 2004, awesomely bad #1 songs ever, Britney Spears’ 20 Most Shocking Moments.
That’s me, with the chipmunk cheeks and a lot of eye makeup. Woo!
In other news, I’ll be participating in a Heeb Magazine storytelling event in December. And pick up the next Heeb as soon as it comes out for a pleasant surprise. Surprise!
I’m currently wishing I could hibernate for a few weeks; at least until allergy season is over and at least until November 2nd. The suspense is killing me. I’m such an optimist that I still believe that Amerika will wise up, that the evangelicals will listen to the facts, that the swing states will swing blue. The concept of a 2nd term with Bush makes me physically ill. So nauseated that I can’t even think about it, so it’s easier to imagine things working out for the better. And by ‘the better,’ I mean President John Kerry.
So here’s the question – what is the proper environment in which to watch election returns (not considering the high possibility of another recount situation)? In a party sitch, getting ready to celebrate as Kerry wins the electoral vote? Or in a ready-to-mourn situation, in case Bush gets re-elected? Thoughts?