Getting the Band Back Together

First, an announcement: watch me in 25 most cheesetastic 25 stars, Tuesday night at 10pm on VH1. I hope it's rad.

So a couple of days ago, I was discussing forming a band called The Fuck Truck (and our first album shall be titled: The Fuck Truck is An Analogy for Depression). I haven't been in a band in a long time. I have little-to-no musical ability, but I like to think that what I lack in talent, I make up for in heart. Lots and lots and lots of heart. And, seeing as earnestness is the new irony, I think it just might be time to be in a band again.

In high school, I was briefly in a band called the Gravy Beehive Hedgehogs, thus named because Jimmy's fambly is from England and they had hedgehods all over the house. Jimmy was our drummer and we practiced in his basement. The band consisted of all the awesome people from our high school's drama group -- they were all self-described 'dirty longhairs' and I adored every single one of them. Extreme schoolgirl infatuation, to the point where I would be late for band class in 9th grade because I'd take the long route to get there, just so I could cut through the courtyard where these guys smoked Marlboros in between classes. (Two years later, they'd banish smokers off school property, so they gathered on the street near the track, instead.) Anyway, so we mostly played covers of King Missile songs and I was supposed to learn how to play "Astronomy Domine" on my flute, but we broke up before we ever hit the stage at Glenstock.

In college, I was never in a band, but my housemates had lofty plans to perform Mr. Big's "To Be With You" in front of the campus center on bass and drums.

When I first moved to NYC, I was the go-go dancer and human incarnation of Janet Vodka (a mischievous rock sprite who dressed only in saran wrap), in the band Janet Vodka. You can see the mayhem here. And then I played bass in the comedy-grrrl band Hot Little Pieces of Ass with Shauna Lane and Jessica Delfino. They were the hot ones, but at least I certainly had ass.

And now I am bandless. And I think the time has come. Because if I'm not going to become a rock star in 2005 (The year of kickawesomeness), when will it happen? Shockin' awesome, man. Shockin' awesome.