Friday, September 08, 2006

Mutton, Honey


JOSH: python eating a sheep!
BEX: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
JOSH: whatcha eatin?
JOSH: mutton, honey.
BEX: my eyes!
BEX: that sheep in its mouth! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
JOSH: you mean baaaaaaaaaaa
BEX: baa ram ewe
JOSH: what if they become one evil snakesheep?
JOSH: slither slither BLEAT
JOSH: four legs good, no legs better!
BEX: what if the sheep becomes the python's moral conscience?
JOSH: what if the sheep gives birth? then there'll be TWO sheep in there
JOSH: and one will spend her entire life in the belly of a python
BEX: what if the sheep and it's baby live their whole lives in the python?
BEX: isn't that, like, a metaphor for "the panic room" ?
JOSH: a pregnant sheep being eaten by a python is an analogy for the fuck truck
BEX: what if the sheep gave birth to a baby boo ewe
BEX: that's funny
JOSH: somehow this picture has tainted my memory of the Little Prince
BEX: i meant a baby girl ewe and called it a baby boo ewe
JOSH: i wondered what a boo ewe was
BEX: anyway - what if the sheep has a baby girl?
BEX: and then years later, the python gives a ram a blowjob?
BEX: and that sperm impregnates the girl lamb
BEX: and then THAT sheep gets pregnant
JOSH: oh man, and the girl lam has a ram, and then the snake has HORNS
JOSH: BAD-ASS!
BEX: but the horns would be coming out of the python's tushy
JOSH: ASS-HORNS!
JOSH: that would be melochineezer, the horned-ass beast foretold in the book of revelations
JOSH: you must prevent this giant python from blowing a ram
BEX: i guess that's up to the authorities
BEX: but if the first pregnant sheep has a boy lamb, we'd still be set
JOSH: the python will still have horns, though
BEX: exactly. we could skip the step of asking the python to blow ram
JOSH: besides, a python's hinged jaws can open wide enough to swallow a pregnant sheep; even assuming a giant ram penis, it's going to look disproportionately small in there
BEX: i have to go lie down - my head is blowing up
BEX: not because of the ram
JOSH: ok, good
BEX: the ram penis in my jaws
JOSH: that can't be good for your tmj

1 comment:

Julio said...
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