Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Unless You're Really Clever

I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I just can't stand it anymore. At night, when I'm getting my local news fix (truly, the terrible/wonderfulness of local news is a harsh, harsh mistress) I see these commercials for Viagra, the ones where the manly man is watching a baseball game and his lady, who's clad in juicy couture by way of Value City, gives him this come hither glance and the voiceover intones, "They say in life there’s only room for one great passion ..." and the manly man is all, "Grunt, sex? Grunt, baseball?" and then the voiceover adds, "... Unless you’re really clever.”
And the manly picks up a VHS tape and smirks. Because he's clever enough to use a VHS tape and a fracking VCR to record the mofe'ing baseball (grunt) game.

Excusez-moi? He's really clever because he's going to use a VHS TAPE and a VCR to record his game? Is he somehow stuck in a magical time warp wherein he can't get out of 1999?

Kind sir! Let me call your attention to this:
Have you not met this quirky little sprite?

Or perhaps you're yet to become acquainted with the glory that is this:

DVR, man, DVR.

Because clever men just hit pause. Or maybe the record button. And clever ladies named Bex know that Project Runway and Top Model are safely recorded and they don't have to drop what they're doing on Wednesday nights just to watch yummy tv.

And whilst I'm at it: why, oh why, did they ever name something to raise one's willy "Viagra?" Because I hear "Viagra" and I think "Niagara," and Niagara, if anything, falls.


Anonymous said...

Glad to see the biggest comedian of them all, Jesus, is at the Top in that picture.

Wow, Jesus is creative, he shows up on toast, highway under passes, glass, etc....

Late Night Comedy list.
0.)From Jesus to Christ
1.)David Letterman
2.)Jay Leno

BD said...

Baseball, I'll just never understand that...