Monday, August 22, 2005

Dear Celebrity Babies

Dear Celebrity Babies:
If you ever watch All Access: Awesomely Wacky Celebrity Baby Names, I would like you to know that I am (gently) poking fun at your name, not at you. Moreso, I am (not so gently) poking fun at your parents, for naming you something silly.

Sincerely, and with respect,
Bex (whose parents named her "Rebecca," so, clearly, she's the one who gave herself an awesomely wacky baby name)

Yesterday was Vegan Appeciation Day, wherein all the nonmeateaters in my life (namely: me and my boyf) went out for vegan blunch (brunch+lunch = blunch!) at Teany (and no one was stabbed!) (ask not for whom the vegan chicken salad tolls for thee). And then we went to Babeland for fun toys sans animal products! (note: they've dropped the "toys in" because they're oh-so-much-more-than-just-toys now.)

Sidenote: A million years ago, in "Lord of the Cockrings," I played a magical shopgirl at Toys in Babeland who sold Scroto Baggins the magical cockring -- one cockring to rule them all, one cockring to find them!

Anyhoo. And then we went to Mooshoes to buy Vegan shoes, in non-leather!

And, of course, the magical shopgirls at Mooshoes are super animal friendly, so they've adopted lots of stray kitty cats. And we walked in, and there was this ginormous kittycat sprawled out in a patch of sunlight in front of the door. And he was soooo huge and soooo cute that I simply had to bend down and pet his adorable little head. And in the back of my head, I heard someone saying, "No, he's bad! He's bad!"

And I, of course, thought that the "He's bad" someone wasn't talking to me. I thought perhaps I'd walked into a conversation between two of the magical shopgirls and one of them had just said, "So, I went out with JimmyBob last night," and the other girl said, "No, he's bad! He's bad!"

But, apparently, they were talking about the kitty and he was indeed a bad kitty because he scratched me, but even though I knew he was a bad kitty I still wanted to pet him and pet him and pet him and pet him, and so I had to buy a vegan handbag instead of petting the kitty.

Petting the kitty at Mooshoes: stroking the ____________ at Babeland
a. meowmeow
b. pussycat
c. baby kitten
d. snatch

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