Oh, how I love being semisortakindanearlyalmostmaybe famous. I gets me some fanmail sometimes. It's true. You, yes even you, can write to me ... just to make it difficult, we'll play a little treasure hunt: look at the right-hand column of this page, and somewhere it says "3...2...1... contact!" There's a link there to send me email so you can whisper sweet nothings or scream vitriolic messages of hatred into my ear. So. I've decided to play like Letterman: Letters! We get Letters! We get lots and lots of Letters! So today's Fanmail o' the Day comes from someone named Max. He writes:
"as creepy as it sounds i've been having crazy wet dreams about you, just thought i'd let you know and remind you how people online can be creepy once you're famous. hah"
thanks, Max! You just made my day! A random stranger is having wet dreams about a funny-looking chick who makes obnoxious comments on tv about celebrities she's never met! I LOVE THIS UNIVERSE SO MUCH. I have the most supaduparadtastic fans in the whole wide world.
So I shot ALL ACCESS: Locationships this morning. Ick. I am so over talking about the same stories over and over and over again. Speaking of which, I shot ANNA NICOLE'S MOST SHOCKING yesterday. It made me sad. The same way shooting MICHAEL JACKSON'S MOST SHOCKING made me sad. Because I don't like to make fun of people who are ill. It's just not fair. Speaking of which, MJ'S MOST SHOCKING airs this Monday. I am intrigued to see if they cut it so that I end up sounding like a grumpy old man, going "oh, flibbity floo, back off poor Michael Jackson!"
Back off, man. I'm a ghostbuster.