And ... I ... Am ... Outta HERE!

Well, tigers, I leave in just a few short hours for my decadent weekend in Barbados. Jealous much? Heh heh heh. Enjoy the snow; I'll be getting a rockstar tan, drinking fancy drinks (with many, many umbrellas) and pretending to be a pirate. It's true, I have two main associations with Barbados:
1) PIRATES
2) That line in Tori Amos' "Me and a Gun" where she sings "And I haven't seen Barbados, so I must get out of this"

I'm not even sure who owns Barbados or where it is exactly. I think it's somewhere South of all those other fancy schmancy Carribean islands... oh yes, I am SO going to go be a Pirate of the Carribean. Yo ho ho and bottle of rum! Ya bloomin' cockroachers! And a dirty, dirty leg dangling off a bridge ... oh it haunts me, it haunts me still.

But anyhoodles... some tidbits to tide you over: I shot pickups today for ALL ACCESS: BEST FRIENDS, but the show's not airing til May. But in sooner news, please set your tivos NOW for "VH1 and Self's 100 Most Wanted Bodies" -- at 10pm (9 central, 8 for my beloved mountain time) --it's a 5-part series that starts airing March 7th (one hour a night for five nights). I'm the narrator for the whole fucking series, babies, so if you watch you can imagine I'm sitting right next to you on your couch, telling you insightful tidbits about hotties and how they get their bodies. Of course, after spending 12 hours recording the voiceover, all I can think about now is how I don't workout the right way or long or hard enough, and how if only I were paid to be hot, perhaps I too could spend 8 hours a day with a personal trainer and have abs with which you could grate cheese.

But I don't. But I do have a new bikini, a freshly-waxed bikini region, freshly-painted toesies, and a hankering for some serious beach time. WOO. As long as it stops snowing sometime before 5am, I'm all systems go -- the controls are jammed, and we're heading straight for Mr. Sun.