Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Rate of Redundancy Rises Rapidly

From today's Page Six :

"BRITNEY Spears is going retro. For her upcoming "Greatest Hits" album, the pop tart is recording a remake of Bobby Brown's '80s hit "My Perogative."

The whole Britney-doing-Bobby-Brown doesn't really bother me.

But ... Britney's Greatest Hits? Her first single ("Baby, One More Time") was released in 1998.

That was six years ago. A six-year-old career is now long enough to warrant a Greatest Hits album? I have underwear that's older than Britney's career. The skirt I'm wearing today is older than Britney's career. There are packets of duck sauce in my parents' refrigerator that are 3 times as old as Britney's career. And no one's giving them a greatest hits album.

Until now. And, now: the moment for which we've all been waiting -- Packets of Duck Sauce's Greatest Hits!

Sweet and Sour and Such a Heartbreaker
Spareribs? (More Like Not Enough Ribs to Go Around)
I Wanna Be All Over You like Scallions in the Fried Rice
I Am A Versatile Condiment
Soy Sauce, Soy Bomb
Steamed or Fried
So Hungry Two Hours Later (feat. Fat Joe)
Bok Choy, Yo
General Mao vs. General Tso
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

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