It's Like the Instructions on the Back of a Box of Toothpicks

I'm so glad NBC is providing commentary on the artistic events, not just the athletic ones. Opening ceremonies: a runner strides gainfully around the stadium as an announcer reads off a list of every city that's hosted a Summer Olympics, and in what year. The reader doesn't announce a city for "1916" and the runner dramatically stumbles and pauses. Right: easy read -- 1916, WWI, no Olympics, a global tragedy. And Bob Costas actually comments, for those people who may have missed it at home, that the runner has "symbolically stumbled."

Thanks, Bob.

Because I was so sure that he REALLY stumbled. And the announcer was startled that he could be such a schmuck and trip during the fucking Opening Ceremonies and that's why she didn't say "1916."

He didn't really stumble????

Motherfucker cocksucker!

Ah. It was SYMBOLIC.

Thanks, Bob. I look forward to your comments over the next two weeks -- will you mention, perchance, that the Olympic rings are a SYMBOL of global unity? That soft focus human interest stories are SYMBOLIC of ancient Greek mythology? Will you tell me that the Americans who are going to say shit like "God Bless America" when they win and salute the flag and the rest of the world just might boo when the American anthem is played -- would you say such a phenomenon would be, oh, SYMBOLIC?

just wondering.

TWIRLY RIBBON THINGS, PLEASE.

And some children's tylenol, ma.

For I've got OLYMPIC FEVER!

Holy shit, I hear those first sweet strains of that Olympics theme song and my knees get all rubbery. Who will be the Kerri Strug of 2004?

DOWN WITH DOPING!
Less dope for the athletes means more for me!

UP WITH DOPING!
The Olympics are boring when the 'roid fiends aren't shattering world records.