Friday, August 20, 2004

God, Not Drugs!

So-Called President Bush Rallies Wisconsin; takes questions from crowd, including one pious Youth Minister.

YOUTH MINISTER: I'm a local youth minister, recently hired. And one of the things -- two of the things we've talked about today are enemies and freedom. And I believe that the enemy that we need the greatest freedom from right now happens to be Satan, and it's the enemy that we also don't necessarily always see. There's so many people who are being attacked on every level. A lot of those people are youth that are in our middle schools and our high schools. And I was just wondering how we can do more for faith-based initiatives for children, before they're drug addicts?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. I appreciate you saying that. Look, well, first of all, it's for me to call upon people such as yourself to interface with children early, before it's too late. You answered the question by your actions. But in terms of reducing demand for drug -- you ask a specific issue on drug use, for example. We've got a collaborative effort with faith-based groups, community groups, neighborhood groups all aimed at sending the same message you're sending. And it's a kind of universal effort necessary to say to a child, drugs will destroy you. And it's working, frankly. We've reduced drug use by 11 percent in three-and-a-half years -- it's not "we," it's community groups have done so in three-and-a-half years. (Applause.)

You're right, there needs to be a positive message sent to our youth. There also needs to be a focused effort on helping the drug addicts who consume most of the drugs. A percentage of -- a relatively small percentage of the people consume most of the drugs, and that's why I'm working with Congress to fund a drug recovery program, of which an integral part of that will be a faith-based initiative. And the way it works is, is a person gets a voucher that he or she can redeem at the program he or she chooses that meets her own, or his own needs. And that includes the ability of faith-based programs to become involved, as I told you, with helping people change their hearts and, therefore, change their lives

Hey. It's me again. See. I was a mild Jew who kinda felt drawn to the tenets of Buddhism and then one night I ate some mushrooms and sat by a campfire and grokked it all out; at least to the extent that one can grok it all out when one is completely at ease and relaxed. Oh, and on mushrooms. And I, like so many before me, had the 'we-are-one' epiphany, and because i am a riot nrrrrd, i interpreted that to mean that quantum physics held the keys to the universe; that we are all connected because we are vibrating quanta; that violence and war and hate were all meaningless concepts because we are all one and thus: all you need is love.

And faith means having belief in that for which you have no empirical evidence. and i thought, i don't like that. gimme the evidence, man. show me the science.

so some people go the God route, and some people go the Science route and I reckon there's lots of other Routes that ya'll should feel free (oh, yeah, right? we're all free. woo!) to share ...

Anyhoo. So the drugs made me think: God is the most silly, funny, laughable, Wow, we are no more advanced, really, than the primitive peoples who came up with the concept of God -- because sometimes there are things we just can't explain and once it was: drought, illness, earthquake (qu'est-ce-que c'est? It's GOD, gosh darn it!) and now it's like: depression; nuclear war; the current political climate (DAMN YOU, GOD!) and so when we don't grok something we say it's "GOD."And then i thought: "stop the widening," which was a billboard campaign across the smaller roads of Maine. But, anyway. So i was on LOTS OF DRUGS and i was thinking that GOD WAS A DUMB-ASS CONCEPT.

i dunno. i'm just saying, from my pool of empirical evidence: a lot of stoners i know are atheists or agnostic and don't practice organized religion and kinda don't really accept the concept of God, i mean, didn't you looooove the Matrix?

Are the Godpeople afeared that the godless heathens using drugs might undermind the Godpeople's stronghold on this country? (Like, according to the Prexy, God says: abortion is bad. God says: homosexuals can't marry. Gos says: stem cells -- BAD. God says: bless Amerika).

Then I say, BRING IT. and let your imaginary friend -- oops, i mean, GOD, convert the heathens.

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