Friday, March 10, 2006


NO PENGUINS!, originally uploaded by starbexxx.

So my roomie got a package from UPS yesterday, and luckily, I was home nursing a backache so I could sign for it. I couldn't help but notice that this package was stamped with a large "NO PENGUINS" symbol. I was perplexed. Did it mean that the package had to be kept away from penguins at all costs? Would its contents kill penguins? Or would it drive the penguins into a hysterical frenzy, whereupon they'd attack with ferocious muster, pecking with their beaks, peck, peck, peck? And why was the penguin wearing such a dapper bowtie? Was this symbol saying "No penguins dressed in eveningwear?" As in, penguins in casual attire would be acceptable?

Upon further examination, I noticed that directly under the NO PENGUINS symbol it said, "refrigerate - do not freeze." Bam! "No Penguins" apparently means "Do Not Freeze." But if the symbol is supposed to be for people who can't read or understand "Do Not Freeze," it's oh so confusing! Why not a "No Icecubes" or a "No Snowflakes" or a "No Igloo" symbol to indicate do-not-freeze? Why does a bowtie-wearing penguin mean freeze?

The mind reels, friends. Absolutely reels.

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