Best ... Idea ... EVER!!!
What if you went to a bar and they had a fixins bar? A Fixin's Bar at a Bar! For your drinks! And I'm not talking about some boring-ass Roy Rogers' Fixins' Bar,
oh no no no no no.
Nor am I talking about those pump things one often finds at fixin's bars. (Although a pump full of Blue Curacao would be acceptable -- so every drink could be blue!)
I'm talking about a Fixin's Bar full of tasty things with which to Fixin' your drink! Things such as:
hunks of pineapple
those toothpicks that look like swords
those monkeys they put on your drinks in Tiki bars
colored sugar crystals
olives (double ew)
Imagine if this well-tended Fixins' Bar were full of things for your adult BEVERAGE!!!!
Replace those peppers with fruit slices! Replace that sour cream with cool whip! Replace the sliced onions with, for Josh, a very tiny totem pole in the pacific northwestern style!
SOMEONE DO THIS RIGHT NOW! Build a bar with a fixins' bar! Please? I'll be there every night.