Wouldja Getta Load of This Sassy, Sassy Buck?

buck, originally uploaded by starbexxx.

This is Buck. Buck Henry, to be exact. He lives on the wall of a cabin way up in uppity upstate. As a longtime vegematarian, I am not so much a fan of ye olde taxidermy (except for deer scrota, of course). Dead animals who live on walls often scare me. They give me the heebie-jeebies. They make my knees knock willy-nilly. They make me feel all namby-pamby.

Thing is, Buck has lived on his wall for a long time. He's probably lived on the wall longer than I have lived on this planet. So, it's really not my right to ask him to leave, even though he scares me a little tiny bit.

But, look! If Buck wears my rainhat and my rainbow scarf, he no longer looks scary! No, no, no! He looks sassy! And jaunty! And gay! Like he's about to go cruising for a hunter in the woods. "Hey, hunter," he might say. "Nice rifle-butt."

Imagine that! Just by cocking a Maine fisherman's rainhat over one antler, Buck becomes so awesome. Just look at that gleam in his eye. He's totally on the prowl for some sweet, sweet deerhunter ass. To lick, not to shoot.

Speaking of which, it is totally not Josh's birthday today. And so tomorrow night we will be hunting electronic bucks galore. But not the sassy ones.