Monday, April 04, 2005

Watch me say "Panties" on tv

Oh boy! I didn't even know this show was finished -- All Access: Celeb Showdown 2 premieres today! There's a sneak peek on RIGHT NOW and the premiere is tonight at 9pm (8pm central, 7pm mountain). I just saw myself say the word "panties" on tv. "Panties" is the WORST WORD EVER. The only thing worse than the word "panties" is the phrase "moist panties." Moist panties themselves are fine, of course, but the expression makes me (and every other girl I know) feel ickypoo.

More later, love bunnies. At least it's stopped raining. Because we all know that April showers bring May flowers. And what do May flowers bring?


What did the ghost say to the bee?
Boo, bee!
(best. joke. ever.)

I feel like I need to elaborate on the "moist panties"-induced ickypoo sensation. Let's see.
1."moist panties"
2. yeast infections (note: we just learned that ladies should aboid using glycerine-based lubes because they break down to become sugar and having sugar in your cooch is basically asking for a yeastie) (double note: let's call yeast infections "yeastie" from here on in, shall we?)
3. if someone were to stick a knitting needle into your eye
4. that scene in American History X where the guy has to bite the curb and then someone stomps on his head
5. President Bush
1. dead pets
2. if a homeless person urinated on the subway and then you sat in it, and you also happened to be wearing a miniskirt and no tights
3. olives
4. a mouse stuck in a glue trap and its eye is in the glue and you can see its exposed eyestalk
5. the dying flopping action of a just-caught sunfish
1. steely dan (the band, not the vibrator)
2. mushy eggplant
3. tara reid's frankenipple
4. eye sties
5. when a dog humps your leg

spending the weekend with my BOYFRIEND (yes, i'm coming out of the closet about this one, gang. I have a BOYFRIEND, my first-ever boyfriend, and I am very happy. Between my BOYFRIEND and moving into Chelsea, I have absolutely nothing to complain about, other than being highly overwhelmed by the impending move).


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