Monday, April 25, 2005

Is it Better to Shit Upon or to Be Shat Upon?

So remember how we were having lots of plumbing problems in our new apartment? (Real plumbing probs, not ovarian plumbing probs). Whenever we flushed our toilet, our fecal matter rained down onto the courier service that's below our apartment. So we called the not-at-all-Super (let's call him "Ismet") (names have not been changed to protect this poopyhead) said he was sending a plumber on Tuesday. My roomie stayed home on Tuesday but the plumber had to go to the hospital. So Noah stayed home for him on Thursday but the plumber arrived and said he couldn't fix the problem yet. So I stayed home for him on Friday and he never showed up because he couldn't find the part. So he was supposed to come Saturday morning at 9. He showed up at 10:30 ish and proceeded to smear grout all over the entire bathroom -- he seemed to smear every available surface except for the toilet. And then he poured gallons of grout down the bathtub drain. So now the bathtub doesn't drain. And when you wash your face in the sink, the water burbles up into the bathtub, along with several pounds of grout and other ickyschticky shizzy. The not-at-all-Super showed up this morning to assess the problem and announced that he would send the plumber back tomorrow. The same plumber who didn't fix the problem originally -- the shitstorm problem. Remember the shitstorm problem? This is a song about the shitstorm problem. And so I asked if perhaps a different plumber could be called --a plumber who could perhaps address all the problems, and not just fix the problem he just tried to fix but didn't (oh, also? our kitchen sink leaks and the bathroom sink leaks).) The not-so-Super treats me like shit because I am a girl. He only really talks to my roommate. So he made me angry. And I had already woken up feeling stressed out and icky because I can't take a shower (rest assured, dear readers, I will be hitting the gym apres-work and showering apres-workout) and with a terrible tummy ache. So I'm annoyed, cranky, grumpy and my tummy hurts and i'm not even premenstrual yet. GROWL. Sweet Jesus, I just want to live in a functional apartment.

But, Happy Passover! Can't wait to tell ya'll about our Jewmersion weekend.

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