Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I've Joined the Soul Patrol ... because of the Yacht Rock

Yacht Rock. Yacht Rock. Yaaaaaaacht Rooooock. Can't you hear its dulcet, siren tones? Can't you feel it wrap its lacy fingers around your brain and draw you slowly and painlessly into ignorant bliss?

Oooooh, Yacht Rock. As the wiki says, it's highly polished SoCal soft rock, and it's best exemplified by one Michael McDonald.

(note: my former officemate harbors a fierce passion for Michael McDonald. I once called his management to see if I could get him to give us VH1 employees a free show just to get us re-hooked on his smoothness. They never called me back).

Yacht rock ... it represents an easy way of life. A smooth way of life, if you will. With yacht rock, life is smoooooooothe. Easy sailing. Calm waves, just the right hint of breeze. It's music that gently lulls you into a nappy stupor. It's just what you need when the world is too much with us - just a hint of the yacht rock, and you're sailing away into a peaceful, blissful apathetic coma. Aaaah. Can't you feel your neck muscles un-knotting? Are your eyebrows finally de-furrowing? Yes, yes, slip deeper into the healing waters of the yacht rock. Yes, that's it - just like that. Aaaaah. Calgon, take me away.

And, so, America - I urge you. Vote not for the McPheever -- personally, I have long since been vaccinated and my blood produces the right antibodies so I have resisted the virus thus far. Vote, instead, for Michael McDonald Jr. Vote for the man who, as America's next top Idol, will usher us back into the era of a smooooth SoCal sound. Vote for Taylor Hicks. Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen the future and it is not pretty. Let's at least have some placating neo-yacht rock to soften the blow. Join the Soul Patrol. Viva the Yacht Rock 2.0

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