Monday, February 18, 2008

Pardon Me, Robin Antin?

Oh, Robin Antin! You've plumped your lips so full of collagen that I can't understand a single thing you say! When I was 9, I drank a bee! It was in my can of soda and I when I tipped my head back to drink, the bee flew out of the can and into my mouth and it stung me right on the tongue! And it hurt like the dickens! And my tongue swelled up! And was so very hurty! And I couldn't talk coherently! And that, Robin Antin, is exactly what you sound like when you try to talk.

Incidentally, those who know me know that I almost always drink using a straw. This is NOT because of the bee flying into my mouth situation! It is an entirely different compulsive behavior that is independent from the bee/mouth/ouchy incident. However, with newfound hindsight, I really do advocate straw-drinking as a very fabulous way to prevent bees from flying into one's mouth.

PS: I am down with GIRLICIOUS but I miss the premise of last year's incarnation when the girls were competing for a slot in the Pussycat Dolls (although: Asia who? Jigga what?) and sometimes a crew member or stagehand type would refer to the contestants as "pussykittens" and that is one my very most favorite neologisms of late.


Anonymous said...

Excessive, and incorrect use of the word "And".

A straw is a great way to avoid having liquids come in contact with ones teeth. Straws also teach us about physics.

shabooty said...

i use a straw for put a bendy-straw in a bottle, have the bendy part on the side, put your fingers around the straw and bottle, put your mouth over the whole shabang, flip it up, the air goes in and bam its a beer bong...if you need youtube vids exampling this let me know:P

also artie lange is famous for getting a jack and water, half jack half water, jumbo straw. nuff said.

and the whole bee thing ...and the swollen tounge...

i've heard of DSL's but not DST's


Bex said...

Yeah, RObin's lips look so bizarre. What did happen to Asia? I heard Chelsea, the 3rd runner up was touring in Europe with a Pussycat Dolls Europe offshoot.