Could it be that Santa Claus doesn't bring presents to the Jews because he hates us?
After all, according to Saint Lenny Bruce, we killed Jesus, because Lenny found a note in his basement that said:
"We did it, signed Morty."
Ostensibly because he wouldn't be a doctor.
And so Santa's just getting back at us?
But possibly because we knew this Christmas thing was going to happen, and we were prophetically trying to prevent little jewish children from the heartbreak of Santa not coming to visit.
HAPPY WINTER HOLIDAY STUFF!