So, behold: this is me, on my way to becoming mildly somewhat almost recognizable amongst denizens of the affluent sections of Bergen County who have a 201 area code:
(photo by Ted Axlerod, who gamely lugged lights up four flights of stairs to my apartment and photographed me in my kitchen. Yes, my kitchen is bright red. You'd love it).
(you can clickity click on that photo to see it larger, I think).
And here is the accompanying text, by Ian Spelling, who's totally rad.
Bex Schwartz is a writer, director, commedianne, singer, host, commentator, blogger, and familiar face to VH-1 and MSNBC viewers, but at the end of the day, she sums it all up thusly:
"I am" the 29-year-old Glen Rock native explains, "a comediator."
Come again? Comediator?
"It's an official term," Schwartz insists. "The whole thing about what we do on VH-1, or that I do on the news channels is, I'm being a comedian and a commentator. So I think the logical intersection is 'comediator'. I can hardly believe it's my job," she enthuses. "I mostly don't get paid for my on-air stuff, but we can pretend I do! I do it for the love of being on television. There's so much pop culture gossip out there, and I like deconstructing in a comedic way - and hopefully, in a more intellectual way."
Growing up in Glen Rock, Schwartz thought of herself as satirical, rather than ha-ha funny. She focused on directing after college and gravitated toward avant garde/post-modern theater and performance art. "I was very earnest," she says, "and I was going to change the world through art." Later, unprepared for a show in Manhattan, Schwartz improvised by sounding off about her family and life - and the audience cracked up. That paved the way to stand-up opportunities and later, her current day job as a senior writer-producer-director of on-air promos for VH-1. Nowadays, the lines between her day and night gigs are, she explains, "blurred beyond recognition."
Of course, there's always the danger that Schwartz could become so hot and so famous, she'll be the butt of exactly the kind of pop-culture skewering at which she excels. Not that that scares her. "I think that's the ultimate goal for anyone trying to make it in the entertainment industry," Schwartz says, "that random people like me end up making fun of you on television."
It's such a nice piece that I will forgive Ian for putting a hyphen into "VH1" (no hyphen, people! you could get fired for such an offense!) and I think he was calling me "Funny Face" in a nice way, not implying that I have a funny face, although, of course, I do have a rather funny face.
Anyway! 201 Magazine! On Newsstands in Bergen County now! You can say you knew me when! (bwa ha!)