Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Heard You're Sick and Feeling Ill: Headache, Fever, and a Chill

Ladies and germs, I am crazytalk illin'. I have a horrific flu that sucks so frakking hard. The only positive notes are
* hallucinatory fever dreams! (dare i call them "vision quests")
* not eating = losing weight
* sleeping 18 hours a day

I know, I know, there was a ladychick on House who was sleeping 18 hours a day and she had African Sleeping Sickness because she cheated on her husband with his buddy, who had gone to Africa and done got himself bitten by a tse-tse fly. But I've never been to Africa. No, wait, I have been to Africa. But that was about two years ago, and I think if I'd been bitten by a tse-tse fly in Morocco, I'd know already.

Being this supersick sucks, but I'm so glad I watch all those medical dramas. F'rinstance, today I ran out of tissues (seriously, I have to blow my nose every forty-five seconds. Even though I'm using the fancy aloe-lotion tissues, my nose is all WC Fields-y! Ack!) and it was an emergency, and I'm also coughing so much that my neighbors must think I have TB. So I needed to run to the pharmacy for more tissues, more cough medicine, and some chest-rub goo. But I had a crazy-high fever! What could I do?

Make like Dr. Cuddy and the kid with the super-high fever and jump into an ice-cold shower, duh.

It worked! My fever went down for like 10 minutes! House works! House is true!

Also, in the midst of a very scary fever-dream, I woke up absolutely needing to listen to "Oliver Cromwell" by Monty Python. In case this ever happens to you, it can be found right here . Lyrics can be found right here, if'n you'd like to sing along.

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